November 20
'Stylista:' There Is No One Left to Root for on This Show
Oh, “Stylista,” you’re my guiltiest pleasure and my greatest fear all rolled up into one hour of television. Last night we saw and – sigh! – heard more of Anne Slowey than in weeks previous. What is the deal with her fake accent? Faccent? Faccent! (“Ah, how was Namibia?”) She’s Eliza Doolittle gone very, very awry, no?
Anyway, our budding kittens with whips had to study some names and faces and suit up for a big party Anne was throwing at Bungalow 8. No, I am totally not kidding about that! Seriously: Bungalow 8.
So this was everybody’s downfall. Everybody except evil genius Megan, anyway.
Kate got picked for her “photographic memory” and totally didn’t study the dossiers. Ha!
Formerly sane Johanna went all Jessie Spano and stayed up way, way too late studying and freaked out. Plus she forgot everything she learned. Plus she basically told Danielle, “Yeah, you’re fat and ugly.” Let me back up here.
Danielle got very upset when she couldn’t find anything to fit her in the “Elle fashion closet” and cried, then asked everybody if they thought she was fat while they were sitting around eating pizza. And, yes, Johanna was the worst but no one was nice about it. That’s “fashion,” I guess. Dyshaun made the bitchiest little face ever, Kate was all “It’s terrible when people have body issues,” to the camera (Ummmm, hello, boob job? Pot, kettle and wear a bra anyway, sweetie) and Megan was like, “Well, stop eating then” after Danielle made some comment later about not liking the pizza. It was compelling television, sure, but almost as comfortable as the whole panic attack thing that happened way back in the second episode. Which is to say ... I felt like a jerk for even watching.
So, party. Anne is awful, just awful. I can’t even. . . Johanna melts down. Ha! Megan is very cool. Danielle is nervous and remembers some people’s names but seems focused mainly on avoiding her teammates. Dyshaun melts down in the “editorial” challenge and spells somebody’s name wrong. He’s not one for details. (In fairness, the real Elle probably has a fact-checker or two on staff.) Megan, Dyshaun and Ashlie make a cool page and win. Johanna, Kate and Danielle make an awful page and lose. It’s down to Johanna and Danielle and, not too surprisingly, Danielle gets the kiss off.
So here we are. We’ve got Megan, Johanna, Ashlie, Dyshaun and Kate left. I guess you could root for Ashlie, she’s not totally evil. But she’s not great. And what’s the future of this show? Crappy, crappy prize aside I’m sure there will be a “Stylista 2.” This is The CW. What else are they doing? But the only reason this show is watchable is because the producers managed to cast pure evil. Can lightning strike twice? Or, like, eleven times?
- Posted by Kate
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