I’m sure you guys haven’t forgotten that “Top Chef” kicks off its fifth season tonight at 10:00. Now, I know I’ve done some snarking on this show in the past, but this season I'm leaving all that to Delish, MSN’s new foodie web site.

What does this mean? Well, it means I can watch “Top Chef” without having to worry about being funny about it the next day. OK, “funny.” Seriously, sometimes blogging about a show kills your love for it.

Still, I couldn’t pass up the chance to talk with Padma Lakshmi and Tom Colicchio...and about a hundred other journalists, but, hey, who’s counting? Here’s what they had to say about the new season.

How contestants (sigh: “chef-testants”) are chosen:

Tom: “We look to see how much butter they use. Seriously, though, the mission of the show is to find better contestants. Also, as it’s become more accepted in our community as something worth doing more chefs are coming out.”

On this season’s contestants:

Padma: "They're an interesting bunch. I thought they really held their own. It was really interesting to watch the evolution of more than a few of them.  I think they really were very quick learners. And so some of the contestants over the course of the challenges and weeks really surprised us."

How does a chef make it to the finale?

Padma: "We're not there when they're shooting it. We don't really know much about it. We strictly judge on food."

Tom: "The strategy of winning and getting to the finale is making great food. I think it's pretty well documented that we do things episode to episode and challenge to challenge.  We don't look at past performances, and it's for a lot of reasons. You know, there's a saying in our industry that you're only as good as your last dish."

On where Frank Bruni can go: (New York Times restaurant critic Frank Bruni recently wrote a blog post about how “Top Chef” is undermining the restaurant industry by convincing young cooks to “use the role of chef as a road to celebrity.”)

Tom: "I find that to be a very strange comment. I don't think there are any shortcuts to getting there. I mean there's a vetting process and, you know, you're not going to sort of get through that process if you haven't some sort of skill.

"It's very easy to badmouth the show if you're a professional chef because some people look at this as a shortcut to fame. Most of these guys who have been on the show, if they don't back it up in their everyday life they're going to fade away a year from now. They're going to have their 15 minutes."

Padma: "I think Top Chef is a great opportunity. If you're lucky enough to actually make the cut and be one of the contestants, it's just a chance to show if you're good or not. But if you're not good, you're not going to last on the show. And that comment about how TV and media has changed the food industry, well guess what? TV and the media have changed all of our lives in every industry.

"I think that Top Chef does a great service in informing people about food and cooking techniques, eating right and using good local ingredients. You see that a lot, especially this season. TV has changed the way people look at food for the better I believe."

On new judge Toby Young:

Padma: "Toby is somebody that I had never met before except for on the set on the first day of shooting that he came in. I didn't know what to expect, but I found him very charming, very witty, and very sweet.

Tom: "He was brash. He was opinionated. He was very funny and witty as well.  I really enjoyed working with him."

And what about Ted?

Tom: "Ted got a show picked up on The Food Network and The Food Network, they have this little policy. That's why you don't see any of the chefs that are on a Food Network show."

On filming season five in New York:

Padma: "I was so excited for it to be in New York. I really was. I'm very proud of this show for not only going to fine restaurants, but also really looking at the city holistically."

Tom: "Usually if we're on location somewhere else we sort of create our own little universe. I think because we were shooting in New York and we all live in New York, we're going back to our regular lives as soon as we were off the set, at least I was.”

"Obviously shooting in New York lent itself to a lot of just amazing things that New York has to offer, you know, a lot of different ethnic cuisines. That sort of worked itself into the challenges at a lot of different locations."

- Posted by Kate

Remember Dale Talde? Of course you do! Well, earlier this week he taught a class at the Culinary Institute of America's NYC outpost and dished on his dreams...and Andrew. It seems like Dale's doing pretty well even without $100,000, a new car and a profile in Food and Wine magazine. You can read the whole "interview" here, but let me share my favorite part:

"Dale said that Andrew, who coined the 'I have a culinary boner' phrase, is actually pretty laid back and not nearly as spastic as he came across in the show. Dale did mention one time that Andrew almost threw his head through a window late-night after Dale had 'drank lots of champagne' and told Andrew that he should have been the one to go home on the episode where Zoe was eliminated."

I don't find this hard to picture, somehow.

- Posted by Kate

OK, guys, here's the the dirt on "The Next Food Network Star" winner Aaron McCargo, Jr.'s new show: it starts this Sunday (yay!) at 1:30 pm. (Better than 9:00 am anyway, right?) The show is called "Big Daddy's House," and the first episode has Aaron making chicken tenders, roast pork sandwiches and seasoned fries for his sons. Awwww!

Let's hope Aaron's reign on The Food Network is more along the lines of Guy Fieri's than Amy Finley's, eh? I still can't believe that Boozie Flay picked him. I think my faith in humanity has been somewhat restored this week, I'm telling you.

- Posted by Kate

I was surprised by Matt's signature dish on "Hell's Kitchen:" venison, diver scallops, caviar, capers and white chocolate. Fish and chocolate?!? Even white chocolate, which isn't really chocolate, still sounded...gross. Last night Dale, Richard, and Andrew did another fish and white chocolate pairing  on "Top Chef." As you see, the white chocolate is mixed with pureed celery root and wasabi paste.

Matt's dish made Chef Ramsay spew chunks. The "Top Chef" boys, on the other hand, won with their dish. Can it be good, fish and white chocolate? Well, if you think about it, white chocolate is just sugar, cocoa butter, and milk fat. It's not so different from really sweet cream, and there are certainly cream sauces for fish. Maybe it's not too crazy to work. No promises, but I'm intrigued enough to think about doing some experiments over the weekend. Maybe I could poach some shrimp in spicy coconut milk and white chocolate? Have any of you brave souls had fish and white chocolate? How was it?

- Posted by Kate

You can always count on Anthony Bourdain to say something...memorable. Food blog Serious Eats has posted a video of him railing against The Food Network. It's pretty funny because a) he's obviously had a lot of wine, b) there's a lot of bleeping, and c) you still find yourself agreeing with everything he says.

- Posted by Kate

Full disclosure: I didn't know what Chicken Piccata was either. I spent quite a while looking through my cookbooks for Chicken Piccata. It wasn't in Foods of the World: Italy (I checked the American and French volumes, too, just to be on the safe side) or The Silver Spoon. It wasn't in The Joy of Cooking. Hmm. I went further down the shelf. It wasn't in Mastering the Art of French Cooking. It wasn't even in The Betty Crocker Cookbook (even though they have Chicken Kiev, Chicken a la King, Chicken Cacciatore, Coq au Vin...) I finally just looked it up on Wikipedia. So, yeah, I believe Tom and Tony that it's a classic dish, but maybe they didn't need to ride Ryan quite so hard for not knowing how to make it.

I think Nimma was a pretty easy choice for the pack 'n go. Her dish had two components, and she screwed both of them up. It was poorly presented, and salty shrimp sounds like a nightmare, frankly. Rocco says that Nimma's pizza was too salty, too. Also, he wants you guys to know how much he hates Chicago-style pizza:

"Now, no offense directed at the lovely people of Chicago, but their pizza leaves a lot to be desired. It’s neither thin crust nor thick crust (what we call Sicilian here in NYC), it’s usually comprised of some random combo of ingredients, and it’s heavy as lead."

Somehow, he seems to need a lot more attention than the other judges.

- Posted by Kate

Of course you do! Well, it's right here. Get ready for a seriously awesome twist about five minutes in! You get to see part of the first quickfire challenge. Marmite pizza?!? Hey, I would try it.

"Top Chef: Chicago" premieres tonight at 10:00 on Bravo.

- Posted by Kate

Ah, spring is sprung. Forget daylight savings time, birds, flowers, or warmer weather: for me. spring is all about the return of my beloved cooking reality shows. "Top Chef" is back tonight, "Hell's Kitchen" is coming at us on April 1, and "The Search For the Next Food Network Star" will premiere in June.

Remember how the grand prize of "Hell's Kitchen" has always seemed a little fishy? Well, Gordon Ramsay seems to be putting his money where his mouth is. According to a Fox press release, the winner of this season of "Hell's Kitchen" will be the executive chef of Gordon Ramsay's newest restaurant: 

"The "steaks" are higher than ever: the winner of the competition will earn the coveted position of 'Executive Chef' at Ramsay's new restaurant, 'The London West Hollywood,' which is scheduled to open in summer 2008."

The restaurant seems to be for real, anyway. I'm glad Gordan Ramsay is sweetening the deal for all the people he's about to call "donkey" or "big boy" or whatever other charming appellations he comes up with this time.

- Posted by Kate

Robert Irvine of "Dinner: Impossible" has been outed as a fraud by a Florida newspaper. It seems like he lied about...his entire resume. He didn't really make Prince Charles and Princess Diana's wedding cake, he isn't a knight, he hasn't cooked for U.S. presidents. The list goes on.

Irvine's lies came to light when one of Irvine's business associates in Florida filed a lawsuit against him for breach of contract.

The PR machine over at The Food Network moved quickly in response to the story. Robert Irvine's bio on the "Dinner: Impossible" page makes absolutely no mention of anything but the fact that he's a chef. A Food Network spokesperson had this to say to British paper The Daily Mail:

"'It's unfortunate if Robert embellished the extent of his culinary experiences,' said Network spokesman Lisa De Colle. 'We are investigating the matter and taking the necessary steps to ensure the accuracy of all representations of Robert on Food Network and foodnetwork.com.'

I don't know what that means as far as the future of "Dinner: Impossible" goes, but my guess is they'll eventually pull it off the schedule. After all, this is the network that kicked Jag off "The Search for the Next Food Network Star" for lying about his military service, something that had nothing to do with his cooking experience.

- Posted by Kate

File this under weird news: Variety is reporting that Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia has bought all the rights to Emeril Lagasse's TV shows, cookbooks, and kitchen products. So, basically, she bought everything but the man himself and his eleven restaurants. I'd call that a smart bargain. I'm sure this means we'll be seeing a lot more of Emeril in guest spots on "Martha Stewart."

- Posted by Kate

Do you miss your reality cooking shows? We're still a month away from the return of "Top Chef" and "The Next Food Network Star" isn't starting up again until June. Luckily, BBC America is stepping in with "Last Restaurant Standing." The show pits nine couples against each other in the race for their own restaurant backed by no nonsense chef Raymond Blanc.

BBC America aired a sneak preview last week, and I liked what I saw. "Last Restaurant Standing" is pretty different from other reality cooking shows. For one thing, the teams are running restaurants, not just cooking. There's the potential for a whole lot more drama...and for more things to go wrong. Most of the teams have little restaurant experience. Some of the contestants are chefs or caterers, but we've also got a drummer, an actress, and an advertising copywriter in the mix.

The teams are given restaurants right off the bat: they have a week to turn an empty shell into an actual restaurant serving actual food. I didn't think they did so bad, considering. Each week the contestants' restaurants are judged on various criteria, and then the bottom three battle it out.

You can catch two episodes tonight, one at 8:00 and one at 9:00 on BBC America.

- Posted by Kate

In honor of the season premiere of Anthony Bourdain's "No Reservations" on Monday night, we're giving away a signed copy of The Nasty Bits and two pint glasses. Pretty much everything you need for a night of debauchery except for the actual offal and cheap beer, right? Anyway, one lucky person will win it all by e-mailing the answer to the following trivia question to winthis@microsoft.com. Please check out the official contest rules to make sure you're eligible to win.

Question: Anthony Bourdain credits a childhood trip to France as the catalyst of his lifelong passion for food. In Kitchen Confidential he talks about one particular raw food, a food that changed everything for him. In an "unforgettably sweet moment in my personal history" he ate...what?

Good luck, guys! We'll post the name of the winner soon.

- Posted by Kate

"Iron Chef America" is one of the biggest hits on The Food Network. The search for a new Iron Chef is making for some pretty compelling viewing, too. You all know that I've been watching and reporting back as the "next" Iron Chefs are weeded out one by one. Well now I think it's about time to address some of the myths surrounding "Iron Chef America." Allez cuisine!

Is Mario Batali leaving?

Lots of people are speculating that Mario Batali won't be coming back next season. The Food Network canceled "Molto Mario" over the summer, but keeps insisting that Mario is still on board for "ICA." I'll be perfectly honest with you guys: I think Mario is gone for good. Does Kitchen Stadium really need five Iron Chefs? No. If Mario stayed there would be five: him, Cat Cora, Bobby Flay, Masaharu Morimoto, and whoever wins "The Next Iron Chef." I hope I'm wrong, though. Who knows, maybe one of the other Iron Chefs is leaving.

Is the secret ingredient really a secret?

Not so much. The Iron Chefs and the challengers are given a list of five possible "secret" ingredients a couple days before each battle. They then make five separate shopping lists, one for each ingredient (so clearly each chef has a plan in place). The big reveal happens fifteen minutes before the show starts, so each chef also gets a fifteen minute huddle with his or her team before the clock starts running down.

So, wait, are the battles really an hour?

Again, not so much. The "secret" ingredient is revealed, then the chefs get fifteen minutes to strategize, then sixty minutes to cook, then an additional forty five minutes to plate extra servings of their dishes. This extra forty five minutes certainly sheds some light on Aaron Sanchez's confusion in last week's episode. When he was a contestant on "Iron Chef America" he would have had this extra time before judging started.

Have any of the contestants on "The Next Iron Chef" beaten one of the Iron Chefs in a battle?

Yes! Traci Des Jardins (who was eliminated the first week) beat Mario Batali in a shrimp battle during the second season of the show. John Besh beat Mario in an andouille sausage battle during season three.

Some of our "next" Iron Chefs have been cheerful losers, too. Michael Symon was bested by Masaharu Morimoto in an asparagus battle in season two. Morou Ouattara lost to Bobby Flay in a pea battle in season three. Chris Cosentino lost to Mario Batali in a garlic battle, also in season three.

Aaron Sanchez battled Iron Chef Masaharu Morimoto during the second season of the show. The ingredient was black bass, and the battle ended in a draw.

Can I Get Tickets to "Iron Chef America?"

There must be even more secrets, because tapings are invitation only! Audience members have to sign a nondisclosure ingredient and everything. The Amateur Gourmet has a post about his experience at a taping:

"Alton aside, the experience of watching Iron Chef live is a bit like the experience of a child who believes with all his heart in tooth fairies catching his mother put money under the pillow. The whole thing's a sham!"

Ouch! Well, I guess making a good game show about food is a little bit like making sausage, right?

- Posted by Kate

This week we've got a great piece on underappreciated comedies  over on the main page. I saw it and figured, hey, I love cooking shows, I should share the wealth. This is really a list for those of you with TiVo, because Food Network has a dismaying tendency to put any show without Rachael Ray or Emeril Lagasse in it on in the middle of the night (R.I.P. imports of "Oliver's Twist").

1. "Restaurant Makeover," Food Network, Fridays at 9:30 am

On this show, a top chef and a top designer team up to change up Toronto restaurants. The best thing about this show is that everyone is a professional, no one's being "TV nice." The restaurateurs even have to kick in their own money for the makeover.  Sometimes the chefs will get pissy with each other, and that can be a treat. There's a real range in the types of dishes you see on the show, probably because the producers try to line up a variety of venues. You'll see everything from coffeeshops with no real kitchens to five star places. I really want to take a trip to Toronto to eat at some of the restaurants they've done.

2. "Sweet Dreams," Food Network, Fridays at 4:30 am

This is a show all about baked goods. OK, Gale Gand has been a little too Bob and Suzied into someone's kindly aunt for my liking, but this show is still killer. She knows a lot about baking, and she'll tell you without being obnoxious about it. Oh, and her lavender shortbread will wake you weep.

3. "Ace of Cakes," Food Network, Thursdays at 10:00 pm

They make it "bigger, badder . . . awesome" at Charm City Cakes. Duff Goldman specializes in non-standard party cakes. He's always making cakes that rotate or explode. That stuff's fine, but the best part of the show is the interactions of the Charm City "family:" Mary Alice, the manager, keeps everyone on their toes, the ninja guy puts motors in things, and Geoff and Anna keep me guessing as to whether or not they're hooking up.

4. "Nigella Feasts," Food Network, Sundays at 10:30 am

On this show domestic goddess Nigella Lawson makes some of her favorite party dishes. It's such a nice, relaxing Sunday type of show. Her recipes are easy to follow but often surprising, like her chili with a cornmeal crust. 

5. "The Complete Pepin", PBS, Saturdays (check local listings)

Jacques Pepin is a great teacher. I love his book Complete Techniques, and I love this series. Watching him with a knife is really something. Also, the man never wastes anything. He peels every leaf of a head of Boston lettuce differently so as to get the most out of it, then saves what he doesn't use to make stock. If you want to tune up your kitchen skills this is the show for you.

- Posted by Kate